I get very angry every time I think about people who hurt women. Crime statistics reveal that 1 in 6 women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime and 1 in 4 on her college campus! Unfortunately, it’s almost impossible to understand the importance of crime statistics until you or a loved one become a statistic.
The good news is that most attacks on women are preventable. Yes, I said preventable. They can be stopped before they even start if women take notice and learn to outsmart the world’s predators.
How do I know that the attacks can be prevented? Unfortunately, from experience. I am the mother of a girl who was attacked by a stranger. When my daughter Amber was 14, she was taken off her bike a block from our house, thrown into this pervert’s car, and taken to a secluded area to be raped.
But things didn’t go as he planned because this predator hadn’t chosen a “perfect victim.” He chose a smart girl who had a smart mother who was a black belt and had taught her to fight for her life if she was ever in danger. And never be a perfect victim! Amber fought back, screamed for help, escaped, and lived to tell the tale. I am pleased to report that she is now 35 years old and she is the mother of my two perfect little granddaughters.
Safety is a lifestyle for me. Is for you? I’d like to give you some safety tips to keep you and your loved ones safe.
1. Carry yourself with confidence. Cheer up. Straight back. Look strangers in the eye. Speak with authority. Predators want weak victims. If you look strong and confident, they won’t want to mess with you.
2. Trust your instincts. If something or someone feels off or “off,” trust your sixth sense. Do not go there! Do not do it! Shove off! Many women have taught themselves how not to listen to their instincts. This is a dangerous mentality. Fix it up.
3. It’s okay NOT to be nice and friendly all the time. With strangers, it’s safer to be cold and distant. Women are understanding and generous by nature, which can put them in many dangerous situations. Teach your children to be wary of strangers, too.
4. Protect your wallet. Women practically carry their lives in their handbags. And lives are ruined every day by predatory identity thieves. Keep your bag zipped or fastened at all times. If you put him in a shopping cart while you shop, strap him down like you would a toddler. Never leave your bag in the car unless it’s locked in the trunk.
5. Watch out, the woman is charging! When you are away from home, carry something in your hand that can be used as a weapon, if necessary, such as keys, umbrella, cane, purse, or pepper spray. [I don’t recommend carrying a gun.]
6. Do not leave home without a cell phone or some device to call 911 in an emergency. If you feel threatened in any way, it is an emergency. Call 911! Don’t wait until things get really bad to call 911. Teach your kids how to dial 911 as soon as possible.
7. Healthy paranoia is a good thing. Be careful of your surroundings. When I am outside of my home or office, I am alert and look around for potential hazards at all times. Do not daydream or get distracted unless you are safely at home.
8. Danger tends to lurk in the shadows. Stick to well-lit areas.
9. It is safer to use an elevator than the stairs. Empty stairwells are well-known hiding places for sexual predators. Do your exercise in another way.
10. Go out in pairs only, if possible. Public restrooms, jogging paths, parking lots, alleyways, bad neighborhoods, plus laundry mats, public transportation, convenience stores, and gas stations at night are especially dangerous areas to be alone. Never hitchhike.
11. Home invasions are on the rise. Always keep the doors and windows of your house closed. Invest in a loud security alarm system and motion sensitive lighting. If you live alone, get a big dog.
12. Avoid vehicle theft. Keep your car doors locked when you are in and out of the vehicle. Do not open windows or doors unless you are absolutely sure you can trust the person on the other side of the door. If you feel threatened while in your vehicle, honk your horn and get out of there.
13. When you are in a social event, bar, restaurant, private party, please remember: Alcohol consumption will lower your natural defenses and make you an easier victim. Don’t drink unless you have a sober person staying with you overnight and of course driving you home. Keep an eye on your drinks – roofies happen!
14. Run, lady, run! If physically possible, practice running, even a short distance. Some women never run and are not sure if they had to. Knowing that you might run away is a valuable self-defense tool. Even if a predator points a gun at you, run for your life!
15. Take a self defense course or learn a martial art. Knowing how to block, evade, kick, and punch are skills available if you or a loved one is being threatened.
16. If there is an attack in progress, yell “Fire!” or “Help!” yell and dress up as a crab fisherman, run as fast as you can and fight for your life.
17. If an attack (verbal or physical) occurs, look at the details, get out of there somehow, report the attack, file charges and seek justice through the legal system.
18. Teach your daughters, sisters, mothers, grandmothers, friends, co-workers, and every other woman you meet what you learn about safety and self-protection.
19. The World Wide Web can be a global web. Please be aware of the danger of building relationships online. Don’t provide too much personal information, such as your real name, home or work address, or phone numbers. If you decide to meet this person face to face, bring a companion.
20. Help others if you witness an attack in progress. Call 911. Get involved. Make some loud noise and cause a commotion.
Take care out there!