We all get taken for granted from time to time. And sometimes we don’t even care if someone we love and is very close to us does it. But if it is a regular thing that keeps repeating itself, it surely hurts and irritates. This world is full of people who complain that their bosses, colleagues, spouses, friends, brothers and sisters, and even their own children take them for granted. They hate it, but they are never really able to change it.
If you look closely, you can easily see that these people are nice and decent; In fact, sometimes too nice and decent. They are soft-spoken, willing to please, helpful, sincere, and hard-working. In general, other people like them and even praise them, behind their backs. But somehow they never manage to get the kind of recognition and reward where it really matters.
A lady, who loves her husband and children, works hard all day, takes better care of them, is an ideal wife and mother in the eyes of the whole neighborhood, never gets even a simple thank you from her husband and children. They may say they love her, but they never really appreciate the effort she puts out of it. An employee who is loyal, talented, works hard, and sometimes even bends over backwards, is praised by some of the colleagues, but doesn’t seem to get the promotion. It’s someone else who gets the raise and promotion, and soon the person in question finds himself working for a person who is almost half his or her qualifications, experience, and talent, and even whose loyalty is questionable.
Does it sound like your story or that of someone you know? Isn’t it too common? The answer will probably be ‘Yes’. Now, you may ask, why do a few get all the recognition and reward, even though they don’t deserve it? But then most of the others are taken for granted, one way or another. Can this be changed? If so, then how?
Many times it is not important what we do, but how we do it that attracts people’s attention. Here are some offbeat strategies that can get people to recognize your efforts. They almost always work for me and they will for you too.
Work smart, not hard: Do you work hard when others are having fun, whether at home or in the office? Does everyone know that you will do everything if they don’t? You have to change that. Call others and give them responsibilities and deadlines. Keep following up and ask about progress. Demand explanation for non-compliance. Act authoritatively if you must and see the difference in just a few days. People may not like you for this at first, but soon they will begin to show you respect and stop taking you for granted.
Promote yourself: How will everyone know how hard you work and what your accomplishments are if you don’t promote yourself? You do not have to hire an advertising agency, but present your achievements in front of those who really matter. Tell your family members about the great work you have done for them. After each achievement, tell your bosses what you have done, either verbally or by sending a report. If you think that action and results speak louder than words, you are wrong. No one is watching you do all that action, and there are plenty of others waiting to steal your credit.
Don’t just help but please: It’s good to help other people. Unfortunately, in today’s world, people take your goodness for granted and start taking advantage of it. So please help people, but show that you are doing it as a favor and as an exception. Make them feel obligated and indebted to you. People may call you a snob, but let them. It is much better than what has been taken for granted.
Be assertive and opinionated to prove a point: People who are not able to say what they think clearly and forcefully always take it for granted. Be assertive when presenting your opinion and point of view. Listen to others and pretend you don’t understand what they are saying, and keep repeating your point. People may call you stupid, but they will take you much more seriously.
Be aggressive and passionate: By asking you to be aggressive I am not asking you to fight with people. But, set aggressive goals, work aggressively and passionately. Aggressive attitude to a certain level creates positive energy that other people feel. And this energy helps people recognize you and your work.
Develop some annoying value: It’s not always good to be nice. Let people know that you can get angry too and you can call a spade a spade. Be courteous, discreet and diplomatic, but speak your mind. Tell people clearly how you feel. They will never take your feelings and emotions for granted.
Is growing and ready to move on: Obviously, everyone will take you for granted if they develop a feeling that you’re stuck with them and not going anywhere. So keep growing. Make continuous improvement in yourself. Develop a better attitude, work on your own image, and add value to your skills and qualifications. Show readiness to move on and see how people’s attitudes towards you change.
epilogue: All this that I told you above may not come very naturally to you at first. But still make conscious efforts for a while until it becomes second nature. However, that does not mean that you will employ these strategies indiscriminately. These strategies are like medications and should be used only if symptoms are present.
In addition, you must continually work to improve your own image. People take you for granted, your lack of assertiveness, being meek, doing all the work yourself, people not taking you seriously, etc. they are usually manifestations of a poor self-image. Once you achieve a healthy self-image, you no longer need to consciously employ any strategy to gain recognition, it will be earned automatically.