Heartbreaker James Dean wanted to live fast, die young, and leave behind a beautiful corpse. Well, it wouldn’t be beautiful for long unless he made arrangements to embalm her body. This method of corpse preservation literally means treating a corpse with special chemicals and preservatives to prevent decomposition. And while it may sound a bit kinky to say the least, it is a method that has been around for a long time, so it must work!
Embalming is done for those of us who are still alive.
Why embalm?
We embalm for a very basic reason: to preserve the body long enough for us to perform funeral rites. Some religions do not believe in embalming, while others see it as completely natural. For many people, having a healthy-looking body on display is a comforting way to say goodbye and preserve happy memories.
Embalming dates back thousands of years, to the ancient Egyptians who came up with all kinds of ways to preserve a body, which they believe would allow them to be whole in the afterlife. Embalming today does not serve the same purpose, it is seen as a temporary way to preserve a corpse: restore an attractive physical appearance, delay decomposition, and reduce the presence of microorganisms. Basically, it is a ritual that is performed for the benefit of those who are still alive, to help them better accept the death of their loved one by seeing them looking healthy and happy, albeit dead, at their funeral.
Steps to an Eternally Beautiful Corpse
Nothing lasts forever, but a corpse can last a very long time if you follow the right steps. And Harold and Maude aren’t the only ones fascinated by this ghoulish procedure. These are the steps embalmers take to prepare a corpse for display at their own wake …
Pre-Embalming. Once a body is taken to the funeral home, the funeral home attendant strips it off and removes all jewelry, bandages, etc. Then take detailed notes of everything on the body: bruises, discolorations, etc. (very important if the family tries to sue the funeral home). The body is then cleansed with a strong disinfectant and, if the rigor mortis has set in, it is relieved with a light massage. Finally, the corpse is shaved off all facial hair, including peach fuzz on women and children, so makeup applied after the corpse has been embalmed will adhere better and stay longer.
Configuration of facial features. This is a very important part of the embalming process, especially if the embalmed person died in pain, or in an embarrassing position with a shameful expression on their face. The reason corpses always look so healthy and beautiful in their own wakes is because all of their mouth cavities have been covered with cotton. That doesn’t just refer to the eyes and nose, but potentially sunken areas like the cheeks and under the eyes as well (looks like Grandma got a face lift!). The skin becomes quite hardened after the embalming process, so it is important that this vital task be done at this time.
Arterial embalming. This bit is kind of gross (as if the other bits weren’t). But it is not a one-way street: while this is happening, a special machine drains blood from the arteries.
Embalming of cavities. The main organs of the body are then punctured and aspirated with a special needle attached to an aspirator, with incisions made to the left and above the naval area. The body cavities are then filled with a concentrated version of the embalming fluid.
Post Embalming. The body is washed with a special soap, then the cuts are sealed and a liquid adhesive is applied to ensure that no formaldehyde leaks out. The body is then dressed and cosmetics are applied so that the corpse is ready to be seen. Family members are usually given the option of dressing their loved one themselves or having the funeral home do it for them.
Fascinating facts
As if the embalming process wasn’t interesting enough …
* It is reported that embalming began to gain popularity in the United States during the Civil War. Thanks to this practice, men who died far from home were able to get home intact for their own funerals.
* The alleged embalmed body of Vladimir Lenin, founder of the Soviet state, has been in state in Moscow’s Red Square since his death in 1924. Critics of Lenin – and the embalming process – believe that there are 12 wax replicas of the body of Lenin, nor an embalmed corpse, and which are rotated monthly for maximum effect.
* Rumor has it that Diana, Princess of Wales, was hastily embalmed after her accidental death in a car accident to hide the fact that she was pregnant.
* The former president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln, was one of the great embalmed men. When his body was exhumed 36 years later, when he was moved to another location, it is said that his facial features were still recognizable.
* Paul VI died unhappily during the hot summer of 1978. Vatican officials are said to have been prompted, or perhaps implored, to install fans around his coffin to help eliminate the odor emanating from his corpse, even though it had been embalmed. .
* The Society of Embalmers of America, which has more than 400 members, says that “there is much to be said about pursuing a career in funeral service,” but that the profession is difficult. “It should be remembered that each deceased individual we groom is someone’s loved one; a father, mother, son, sister, brother, or other loved family member or friend. We should treat each of these individuals as if they were members of our own family and maintain a sense of dignity for them. “
* However, being an embalmer doesn’t have to be so unpleasant. Corpse odors can be eliminated with the Smelleze ™ Funeral, Morgue and Autopsy Deodorizing Bag, which is intended to eliminate odors and not just cover them. “Strong, unpleasant body odors and formaldehyde are offensive to many people,” states the product’s website. But Smelleze is a “natural deodorant that can be used to remove harmful and unpleasant body odors and embalm the odors rather than simply masking them with fragrance.”
Embalming is done for those of us who are still alive. Those who criticize this preservation technique point out that the earth is already overpopulated and that it is useless to fill cemeteries with the dead (they also point out that the practice is disgusting). However, it can still be cremated and scatter its ashes into the sea, or turned into a dolphin-friendly coral reef, after being embalmed, so this argument is not airtight (no pun intended).
If the idea of being embalmed doesn’t fill you with joy, there is a remedy: leave a will with all your post-death intentions clearly and succinctly expressed. After all, cremation with a memorial service costs far less than embalming plus service. And who knows, maybe your relatives will thank you for leaving their body cavities alone in the afterlife …