Funny birthday quotes aren’t hard to find these days, because when it comes to getting old, there’s always something to joke about. Having a sense of humor about your age can help make birthdays a little easier to swallow. For example, here are some funny birthday quotes uttered by well-known comedians and celebrities:
“There is still no cure for the common birthday.”
-John Glenn
“Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.”
-Cora Harvey Armstrong
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for a ten dollar haircut that you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.”
-Sam Ewing
“Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.”
– Anonymous
“Getting older is like being punished more and more for a crime you didn’t commit.”
-Anthony Powell
“A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.”
-Roberto Frost
“When I turned two I was very anxious, because I had doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this continues, when I’m five I’ll be 64.”
– Anonymous
“Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone stood up and sang Happy Birthday.”
-Stephen Wright
“When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.”
-Mark Twain
“I’m at an age where my back hurts more than me.”
-Phyllis Diller
“In dog years, I’m dead.”
– Anonymous
“I wake up every morning at nine and grab the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name isn’t on it, I get up.”
-Harry Hershfield
“A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple in value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’
– Claude D. Pepper
Of course, not everyone is afraid of getting old. Many people choose to put a positive spin on the inevitable passage of time. Take a look at these funny and inspirational birthday quotes:
“It’s not how old you are, but how old you are.”
-Mary Dressler
“Some people, no matter how old they are, never lose their beauty, they just move it from their faces to their hearts.”
– Martin Buxbaum
“Thanks to modern medical advances, such as antibiotics, nasal sprays and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.”
-David Barry
“Youth is a disease from which we all recover.”
-Dorothy Fulheim
“You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years of experience.”
– Anonymous
“For me, old age is always 15 years older than me.”
-Bernard Baruch
No matter how you choose to view it, birthdays are a great opportunity to have a laugh and make peace with aging. And funny birthday quotes make it easier to do!