One of the most important qualities that a child should have is good manners. Children with good manners are more successful and confident. Good manners help them develop positive family and work relationships as they get older. They are nicer and have more friends. Instilling good manners in your child should start very early, from the moment the child begins to understand. When I was a child, a basic way was: never call an adult by her name. Dr./Mr./Mrs./Miss and the last name or just “Uncle” or “Aunt” were the predominant words where I come from, that’s one of the reasons why I had many uncles and aunts! If a child called an adult by his name, he was not polite and was not considered respectful.
The use of magic words has always topped the list of ways: please and thank you. Did you think there were only two magic words? Here are two more: Excuse Me and I’m Sorry. I wish I could replace all the “Yes!” and not!” with “Yes, please!” and “No thanks!” It will be very nice to hear “Excuse me, I’m sorry!” instead of “Hey!” There are other ways like not interrupting two adults if they are having a conversation. If you’re bored listening to them, control yourself, don’t say it. Wait your turn. Think twice before you say anything, which includes not using profanity, never making inappropriate comments, and not insulting others. If you want something, ask permission. If a friend greets you, wave back. Share with others. Help others. Respect everyone. Be polite.
Shaking hands is considered good manners, and good manners are essential success in the business world. In medieval times, the handshake originated in Europe. People offered a handshake to show they are not hiding weapons. It has evolved over the years. So have manners. They too have evolved over the generations, but seem to be eroding among children. Passing these manners on to the next generation is becoming more difficult. I think our parents might have felt the same. All good manners start at home. Children like to imitate adults, so we must be good role models. Never ignore unpleasant behavior in children, they should always be talked about and followed up on in private. Always praise the child for showing good manners. Teachers also play an important role. For younger children, child development professionals and teachers can think of a way to emphasize each month. Topics can range from addressing adults, respect, social interaction with friends, use of magic words, etc. The advantage of emphasizing one way at a time will help the child not become overwhelmed with too many. It takes a while to teach children good manners. So keep emphasizing these and they will become a good habit. I found an activity for older kids (elementary school age), where they had a top 20 manners Q&A session asking if they were practicing those manners. They had to read and check one of the three: often, sometimes, or never. The moral of the exercise is good and children are reminded of good manners as part of the exercise.
I have come across some parents who think that manners are an outdated concept. They brag that their child is independent and let him misbehave in front of others. Well, good manners will never go out of style. They are one of the tools of success for the child. These days, respectful and courteous behaviors are not very common among children. If your son will have this rare commodity, he will dwarf many other children. It’s never too late to start working on good manners with your children.