With every reconciliation process, while emotional issues and issues with your ex are worked out, there will be good days and bad days. Sometimes you don’t hold your own very well because old insecurities or jealousy creep up on you or your ex gets put off by the things you say or do.
Don’t beat yourself up. You only compound the problems by doing so. Forgive yourself, it’s normal to feel vulnerable and stumble sometimes but learn from it. Next time you will know that being reactive and being too honest and direct about your feelings doesn’t help.
With each hiccup, you’ll need to give some downtime again to let things cool down, which means you may not be contacting them for a few days, weeks, or even months. Yeah, it’s hard being an adult in this business. You need to be very patient and think less with your emotions.
I have had such setbacks myself, not once or twice, but at least once a month. But our reconnection has been strong enough not to have any lingering effects (and I know my husband well enough to know how to handle it). There were days when he would fight with myself trying to get past my petty self-talk that made me feel bad. I can’t say things when I want, how I want. Some things are better left unsaid or have to wait until the right time to be broadcast.
Again, choose your battles. And choose your time and the words you are going to say.
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This article is one of the breakup series I write. Check out my author page for more articles on the subject or join me on my ex-back support group and relationship forum for more advice on dealing with your breakup and getting on the path to winning back your love and his life. .