In my research, wherever you look in relation to what to do and what not to do after breakup, you come across the most important first step which is the no contact rule.
Reasons for no contact
I’ve found that it doesn’t matter if you broke up with your ex or if they broke up with you. After that heated discussion that led to your breakup. You both need a period of reflection to work out your feelings, as it is just as difficult for the person who ended the relationship as it is for the one who left.
How long should the No Contact last?
Relationship experts say the No Contact period should be at least 30 days or more, depending on:
• How long they were together in the relationship
• how long it takes for both of you to heal
Each relationship and each person handles situations and emotions differently; One person in the same relationship may need only 30 days, while the other may need more time to sort through their emotions, self-esteem, and confidence.
Break all contact
You need to have as little contact with your ex as possible during this period, which would obviously depend on your situation, if you have children together or financial ties, you would need to work out some of the details on these issues. Then make sure you have as little contact as possible with each other.
Social media is so dangerous at this point in your life, as it could mislead you into making assumptions that your ex is having a good time without you or that they are dating someone else. It’s a good idea to block them or a friend for even a couple of weeks.
The emotions you need to overcome
Although right now it feels totally impossible to survive this entire ordeal, this period of no contact is so important for both of you to take the time without distractions to work out your emotions from:
• Shock and disbelief
• Feeling of betrayal
• Anger
• Sadness and depression
• Loneliness
If you try to get in touch with your ex too soon without dealing with the above emotions first and without a plan, it could get very ugly as neither of you is ready and panic takes over and you and your ex say and do all the wrong stuff that makes the mood rage even more and then it can get really nasty.