The first and most fundamental rule of selling is that people don’t like to be sold to. It’s a paradox: people buy things all the time. Trillions of dollars worth of products and services are bought and sold, in stores, through the mail, on the Internet. So how come people don’t like being sold when obviously so much happens?

The answer is that they are sold without realizing it. People like to buy things, because buying makes them feel in control. being soldon the contrary, it implies being controlled.

Take the familiar stereotype of the used car salesman. Customer #1 goes to the dealership, and before he has had a chance to express what he’s looking for, the overbearing, talkative salesman tries to foist a heavy and expensive luxury car on him. What the salesperson would have discovered, if he had bothered to find out, is that this customer is on a budget; he wants a fuel efficient and reliable car.

Client #2 is a young mother. She gets the same treatment, but what she really wants is a car that is safe to carry her children. Client #3 also gets the luxury car slammed down his throat, but he’s a single man with deep pockets who wants to impress single women: he wants a bright red sports car.

The three customers want and need a car, but they don’t trust the salesperson, because he obviously doesn’t care about their wishes. What if the other car dealer down the road really “gets” about helping these customers find what they really want? They would get all the business, right?

A good salesperson, car or whatever, makes their prospect feel good about buying the product or service, not forced, coerced, or tricked. They want the salesperson to understand their wants and needs, and to satisfy them.

As sellers, we create in our prospects the desire to buy by appealing to their emotions. An effective used car salesman would appeal to Customer #1’s desire for economy, Customer #2’s desire for safety, and Customer #3’s desire for attention from the opposite sex.

If you do this successfully, your client will not feel sold because you have provided the solution to their problem. Understand your customer’s buying motives and you can create sales messages that speak to their wants and needs, their desires and dreams, and they’ll walk right to your door, eager to buy from you.

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