You may be one of the many wives who wonders why her husband decided to cheat on her. You probably had what you considered a good marriage, perhaps with children, and now everything seems ruined. If she is straining her mind trying to accept why her husband has cheated on her, she must understand that she is not alone. Anyone who has been through the effects of an affair always has the same question.
The real reason
There is only one real reason why a person decides to cheat on a loved one. It all comes down to the same thing: there is a character flaw with the cheating spouse. That basically sums it up.
You see, every time a couple gets married, they are entering into an agreement that they will remain faithful to each other for a lifetime. This means that even when the going gets tough, when sex isn’t available for weeks or even months at a time, when horrible arguments take place and everything seems to fall apart emotionally, there will be no cheating.
Cheating on a spouse is not an option. If there are problems in the marriage, they can be dealt with in another way. You can seek a marriage counselor, you can talk to a religious leader, you can confide in your friends and family, you can file for a separation or even a divorce. Once again, cheating is not an option left open.
The marriage vow is sacred and you promise that you will never cheat on your spouse once you are married. That is a promise that you make to your future wife or husband during the marriage ceremony.
This means that any of the reasons a husband comes up with for cheating are merely justifications for something that was done wrong. In fact, in almost all cases, the cheating spouse is actually the one who created the problems or at least added to them.
This leads to the conclusion that there is a character flaw in the cheating husband. The depth of this defect will depend on how much remorse there is for the act performed, how many affairs took place, and how often and how emotionally involved the cheater was with the other lover.
Dealing with the character flaw
It is not important that you try to understand why your husband cheated on you. You will never be able to fully understand what causes a person to have an affair, and instead of spending too much time trying to rationalize it, focus on your own healing. It’s time better spent.
As a rational person who does not have a character flaw, you can learn to deal with your own emotions to help the healing begin. This will be a process and you will learn and grow from it. You can start by developing your own communication skills so that you can better listen to your husband and effectively handle what is said. You will also need to learn how to rebuild the trust that has been lost in the relationship and start building a new relationship based on honesty and communication.
Your cheating spouse will have to commit to repairing the flaw in his character and make a new commitment to you and your marriage. Her husband will have to figure out what got him to the point where he could have an affair to prevent it from happening again. An apology will have a commitment to make, a new offer to the marriage and an honesty and transparency agreement put in place from that moment on.
The focus should be on establishing a marriage that is even better than it was before and making it grow each day. It is important to realize that you will never fully understand what could lead a husband to cheat on his wife, especially when there is still love within the marriage.