Rarely is the time when I really keep up with my schedule. Every time I think I’m trapped, something happens that grabs it and throws it out the window.
Such was the case last week. He was very happy with the fact that he was on time and had everything at hand. Nothing makes me feel better.
Of course, this is mostly delusional, at least for me. If there was ever an award for raving, I’m pretty sure it would be at the top of the list. The amazing thing about being delusional is that you never think you are.
As I wallowed in my delirium and relished every moment, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage came over and snapped at me, “Are you ready to go?”
At the moment, I had no idea what he was talking about. And so I replied: “Huh?”
I’m not sure if that’s really a word or not, but it accurately described my delusional moment at the time. I had no idea what he was talking about.
“You haven’t,” she said, “forgot what day it is, have you?”
I was tempted to say, “Of course not. It’s Tuesday.” Fortunately, I didn’t give in to that temptation and just responded with another, “Huh?”
With a scornful look, he said, “You’d forget your head if it wasn’t attached.”
I wouldn’t tell him, but I probably wouldn’t miss my head if I forgot. After all, I don’t wear a hat.
“Today,” she said in a very calm voice, “the two grandchildren are receiving prizes at school.”
I’m not quite sure if I forgot or if I wasn’t listening when the instructions came to me. At this point, he wasn’t going to let anyone know, particularly my wife.
“Oh yeah,” I said getting up from my chair, “I’m ready to go. Let’s go.”
He gave me one of his classic sarcastic smiles and we headed for the door.
One granddaughter was graduating third grade and the other was graduating fifth grade. Unfortunately, one was at 8:30 in the morning and the other at 1 in the afternoon. It would make sense to have them all at once, but what’s the point in our world today?
I didn’t want to complain, they are our grandkids after all, but I think the planning could have been a little better than that. After all, sitting in the school cafeteria to listen to the award ceremony is about as exciting as it gets.
The chairs we had to sit in were uncomfortable, which was very lucky for me because I wasn’t tempted to fall asleep during the ceremony. I think that was done on purpose.
Imagine receiving an award for completing third grade!
I can’t remember such a thing when I was in elementary school. Our great prize was to leave school and go home in the afternoon. It just doesn’t get any better than that.
Today we live in a different world where everyone gets an award for something or sometimes for nothing.
Then I remembered my cell phone in my shirt pocket. It’s moments like this that God had in mind when he invented this cell phone technology. I took out my cell phone and started checking my email.
Then I felt a sharp pain in my right ribs (thanks Eva) and heard a voice say, “Put that away and pay attention.”
Slowly and reluctantly, I put my cell phone back in my shirt pocket and tried to pay attention, but I didn’t have enough coins. Paying attention can be very costly when you’re in situations like this.
The problem is that elementary school, particularly third grade, had more children than my grandchildren. They were trying to give awards and recognition to all the children and I was only interested in one, my granddaughter.
I was pondering this for a while and then my partner said, “Look, there she is.”
When he said that, he took out his cell phone and started taking photos of our granddaughter walking to the stage to receive an award. I can’t use my cell phone, but she is free to use her cell phone. Where is the justice in that?
Taking a hint from my wife, I reached for my cell phone only to realize it was too late and the moment was gone. I looked at my wife and all I could see was her big smile on her face and she said, “I have the picture of her.” All I could do was return her smile and congratulate her on getting the photo of her.
After each of the award ceremonies, my wife and I went ahead and she took photos of me and my grandchildren together, which made her quite happy.
All the way home that afternoon, she was laughing and chattering excitedly. “Her” grandchildren of hers received some awards. According to her, these were very special awards.
I smiled and was tempted to say, “Aren’t they my grandchildren too?” Why spoil the moment? I was excited and happy and it was worth my silence.
I remembered what Solomon said. “A time to make, and a time to sew; a time to be silent, and a time to speak” (Ecclesiastes 3:7).
A wise man knows when to “keep quiet.”